They ask “what are your warning signs?”

I know mine by heart. I know I’m crashing.

What good does it do when you can’t stop it. I can’t intellectualize my way out of it.

I’m on the new meds, at the new levels that they keep raising.

I finally got sleep thinking that would stop it. It either made it worse or I was able to sleep because it was already getting so much worse.

The pills are still locked up tight.

“Trying to put it back together

As I watch it fall apart”

Damnit. I don’t want to ride this again. I’m in the fucking program and doing the ducking things (and I never ever mean ducking you damn iPhone).

How much of a drain will I be on everyone this time around? How far down will I go? How dark will it get?

Will I make it out alive?