Reactive

Really Real Mental Health Post

I’m feeling really emotionally reactive right now.

Like, every little thing makes me want to react instead of sitting with it, and honestly, that’s not the greatest place for me to be.

I’m hoping it passes within a few days.

I had a really immature reaction the other day in a store, where I could have gotten myself into a physical fight because of my reactivity, but luckily the other person was mature about the situation.  I was over reacting and said some inflammatory words and literally tried to pick a fight for no real reason.  It’s not like the me that I want to be, it’s not like the me that I normally am.  I’m thankful the other person didn’t feed into it.

Afterwards I was just kind of standing around going, “What the ever loving fuck was that about?”

I’m feeling really emotionally reactive right now.

I’m thankful that I can see this and maybe start taking an extra few breaths before reacting to situations.

In DBT we talk about logical mind and emotional mind and in the middle there is wise mind and right now I’m definitely in emotional mind all of the time, and my emotions are running really really high.  I need to take that extra dozen or so breaths to find my wise mind.

In the grand scheme of things, I’m doing really well right now.  My emotions ebb and flow.   I still wobble sometimes, this newfound stability gets a bit questionable for a day or two and it freaks me out.  Depression will overwhelm me, or those old manic jitters will bubble up and I’ll have to ride out the roller coaster.  But compared to six months ago, or even three months ago, I’m experiencing stability.

But stability doesn’t mean perfectly stable emotions all of the time.

I’m feeling really emotionally reactive right now.

I’ll just have to remember to be gentle with myself and those around me.

I really don’t want to get into a fight in the middle of the dollar store.

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