Nothing

Really Real Mental Health Post

Yesterday I gave myself permission to do nothing.

First, I cancelled all plans and insisted that I not leave the house.

Then I gave myself permission to let, everything, go.

This of course meant that I saw all the things that needed doing as soon as I woke up.

I did end up wiping down the bathroom in a quick clean fashion (but like I told Wonder Woman, I just wiped it down, I didn’t get out cleaning chemicals or anything, it wasn’t REALLY cleaning).

I cooked dinner, and cleaned out the fridge and took down the trash, but I didn’t even leave the house for that, I stayed inside while she took it out to the cans.

I never left my front porch yesterday.

Sometimes we need a planned rest day, and for some of us, that’s a really really hard thing to do.

I found myself being really bored for a good part of the day, unsure of what to get into.  I have a few different hobbies and I wasn’t sure what to do first so I did neither for a long time and just played on facebook (the time suck that it is).  Finally I started a new chainmaille project and had a lot of fun remembering old techniques.

As a side note, I’m often amazed by how enjoyable it can be to sit in the same room with someone, doing your own separate things but just sharing space.  It’s one of my favorite things about living in a small apartment, we spend a lot of time just sharing space and figuring out how to make that work for our needs.

Anyway.  I also wrote my bio yesterday.  I’m going to start submitting pieces to websites that accept that sort of thing (The Mighty, Medium, etc.  I’m open to ideas if anyone knows of any) and they needed an author bio.  I realized, I can write about my situations, I can write about my emotions, but writing about who I am, that’s some hard shit right there.

Who the fuck am I.

That also brings back that question.

“What do you do?”

I survive.  That’s what I do.  And even better, I thrive.  Through some fucked up situations, and right now, I live my best fucking life and it’s just gonna get better.

Turn that into a bio that sounds good, and maybe has less F-bombs.

And you know what, I think I did.

So yesterday I took the day off, and also wrote something that was really hard for me but ended up being kind of easy in the end.

I failed at doing nothing.

But I didn’t leave the house.

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