This is a Really Real Mental Health Post.
The smallest statement by someone else can screw me up for weeks or longer.
A project I’ve been working on, and proud of, can be thrown off because someone I care about, or a stranger on the internet, makes some side comment about that craft.
I can spend days overthinking an entire conversation because of one phrase the other person said.
And some conversations have been stuck in my head, for what seems like my entire life, because of phrases that threw me for a loop.
But I’ve been thinking. What are the phrases, things that I said in passing, that have stuck in others heads? What things did I mean nothing by, that became major sticking points for them because of the way they took it.
We always talk about others opinions not mattering as much as our own, but how many times has my opinion messed up someones day, week, year?
What are the phrases I’ve said that have changed someone? For better or for worse?
And as much as I get stuck on the phrases that really make me anxious, what about the other side of things.. Yes, there are things people say that make me doubt what I’m crafting, or doubt what I’m wearing, or doubt my abilities, or doubt my worthiness. And I’m not talking about overtly hurtful statements, I’m talking about comments that are either opinions, or things I am taking the wrong way.
But there are also statements that people say that build me up and make me trust in myself, love myself, be proud of myself and my abilities. Things that I take to heart when they may have meant it as a passing comment.
How many of those comments have I made that have helped people? How often have I built people up?
We speak around 16,000-20,000 words in a day (based on some random factoids on the internet, so it must be true), I’m sure some of them are unkind, but mostly I’m surrounded by kind people who say kind things to me.
Why am I always finding the negative meaning?
Letting myself be derailed by the potentially hurtful comments that people, especially random people, but even loved ones, say isn’t helpful.
Maybe it would be better to focus on the positive in the world.