Growth

This is a Really Real Mental Health Post.

My DBT classes are going really well.

It’s a mix between group therapy and skills class with a really really heavy focus on the skills class side of things.  We don’t really do any processing of emotions in the class, but we’re taught a lot of skills to help us work on things outside of class.  Then we discuss how we used those skills during the week when we review our homework.

It’s a very draining two hours for me each week.  There’s a lot of focus involved, a lot of hard work as well.  Even though I’m not directly processing emotions, I’m trying to figure out how I would integrate these new skills into my daily life.  I’m also in a group setting which is draining to me anyway.

But it’s completely worth it.

Yesterday, when I was looking at what my new schedule looks like, especially once I factor in transportation, and the gym, and cooking/household stuff, I got completely overwhelmed and shut down.  In the past I would have spiraled and threw my emotions all over the place.  Covering everyone I could reach in my frustrations.

Instead, I gave myself a time out.  I described to myself what was going on in my head.  I gave myself the space to feel all of my feels about it.  It’s okay that I’m overwhelmed, it’s okay that it seems like too much, but that doesn’t mean that it is.  What I feel is okay, but reacting to it and covering everyone, including myself, in a whirlwind of emotions over it isn’t productive.

So I sat with it for a little bit and calmed down.

And then I vented, calmly, to Wonder Woman.

And it didn’t fix any of the problems with transportation, or how long my week seems, or how I’m going to fit it all in, but that wasn’t the point.  This isn’t really a fixable problem.

I didn’t make things worse.  I didn’t build myself up for a crash that wasn’t necessary.

These skills are working.

Growth is amazing.

Go me.

Yay DBT.

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