This is a Really Real Mental Health Post.
And I jump all over the place and don’t really have a central topic.
Okay, so I’m not really going on a plane, more like a Greyhound Bus, but that’s not how the song goes.
I forget that I can hop on a bus for next to nothing and go visit one of my best friends a few states away. Every time I go and see her and the baby, I swear I’m coming back soon, and then I let life and bills and money get in the way and I forget. It isn’t that big of a deal to just go for a few days.
And it does amazing things for my mood every time. It’s the reset I need.
So, when I realized that it was going to be two months before Wonder Woman and I could drive up there (too long!), I started looking into going next weekend.
I’m still dealing with this mixed episode, so I’m weighing out every decision two or three times. Is this decision based in wise mind or is it irrational. I’m using lots of DBT skills to keep myself grounded and to go against what I want to do when it isn’t a wise choice. It’s nice to see the skills in action.
A funny example of mixed mood. I’m still cooking just fine, making great dinners like I do, feeding us good food. At the same time, I can’t find the drive to do the dishes. I am sometimes working around dishes that are getting spread out across the kitchen counter. Must cook all of the amazing foods, can’t wash one dish!
Eventually I used my “just wash a few, you don’t have to do them all” trick to get started and I was able to get most of them done. Until I cook again.
I fill out a mood diary card every night for DBT group. Even on the rough days where mobility has been an hour or two late, my emotions aren’t getting completely out of control. I’m staying within a few points of mid-line, my suicidal thoughts have been almost non existent and very fleeting. The med increase seems to be keeping this mood episode under control. It’s still there, I feel it, but it’s completely manageable.
I write often when things are in one direction or the other, so writing a “life is just, typical” post, seems strange. But it’s nice to have these calm days and sometimes I forget to pay attention to them.