This is a Really Real Mental Health Post.
I’ve felt the urge to write all day, but haven’t been able to come up with a topic. Part of the problem is that I have a few floating around in my head, but they involve other people, and I don’t really want to write about other people in a public space.
I guess that isn’t quite true. I write about other people all of the time. In positive ways. I don’t want to write negative things about other people. They either aren’t going to be able to defend themselves, or they’ll read it and it’ll start a shit storm, or someone else will read it and it’ll get back to them. It’s just bad news all around.
I can write enough negative things about myself to last a lifetime.
But the only topics floating around in my head today involve situations and such that revolve around other people and it’s hard to get past that sort of writers block.
And I just wanna write!
Wonder Woman cooked us dinner tonight. It. Was. Amazing! I cook dinner 99.9% of the time (which I love doing) but this was a nice change. I told her it was good enough that she needed to take over cooking dinner from now on.
I only got 5 hours of sleep last night, and then a few super short power naps today. I’m still dealing with this mixed mood. (In case you couldn’t tell from the way I’m jumping all over the place).
I was having a discussion earlier with Wonder Woman about the fact that this time around it is an entirely different experience. Of course I’m riding the bipolar coaster, but I’m also able to see the big picture. I’m in it, but not in it at the same time. I’m not my moods, I’m not this mood episode, I’m not even entirely my reactions, but I do have control over my actions and reactions. I’m able to monitor my moods and react accordingly. I’m not feeding into the mania or depression. It’s amazing to see the DBT skills at work in this situation, the same sort of episode that put me into crisis so many years in a row. Being on medication that works well is helping too, but these skills are a game changer.
I feel like this should be a curriculum that’s taught to everyone in middle school instead of something that costs entirely too much money to access. I only have 6 weeks left and I know I’m going to miss having the group every week.
I’m looking into a NAMI support group to fill the hole that’ll be left in my calendar.