This is a Really Real Mental Health Post.
My brain is almost always at least somewhat chaotic. A jumbled mess of thoughts and ideas, plans and problems. I spend more time then I care to admit staring off into space, fixated on some random point, lost in thought, because my brain is moving too fast for me to remember to pay attention to the world around me.
But I’m amazed at the order that comes out of my chaos. I float around most mornings, using my natural propensity for chaos to do 20 things at once. Making my coffee and breakfast while doing the dishes and feeding the dog. Getting halfway dressed and throwing a nightgown over the rest of me to take the dog out before checking the cats food and water. If it’s a busy day I’ll get dinner started in the crock-pot, figuring out what needs to be started now and what can be added later. Flitting from one thing to the next and back again, going with the flow. It looks like chaos, but in reality I do everything the same way almost every morning.
On Mondays I make and peel a dozen hard boiled eggs to get us through the week. Setting alarms to make sure I get the timing just right with the Instant Pot natural release (the 5-5-5 method is amazing). Stopping to peel them carefully, being careful not to mar the smooth skin of the soft egg. It is a sort of meditation in the midst of the whirlwind of my morning. Cooking will always be one of my favorite ways I take care of us, I can’t believe I lost that for so long.
I’ve never been a morning person, but yet, I wake up at least an hour before I need to, just so I can follow my routine of chaos and care for all of the beings in the house. I’m sure there’s a more efficient way, but it wouldn’t honor my natural state. I’m sure that focusing on one thing at a time would get them done in a faster, more complete way, but I can’t imagine tying myself down that way. Instead I allow my ADHD to shine through, following it in a sort of dance around the kitchen, until I work my way back to where I started.
And sit down with my cup of coffee to clear my head and write.