Being Heard

This is a Really Real Relationship Post.

I’m not used to being heard.

I’m also not used to listening, and that’s definitely a thing for me to work on.

This is the scenario I’m talking about.

I get upset about my needs not being met in the relationship and speak up.  My partner would get upset, lashing out because I have been wrong in the past, too.  Then I dump 20 other things that my partner has done wrong in the past.  It became a fight because neither of us was hearing each other.

We were too worried about egos and being right.

But yet again I’ve been surprised at how different things are with Wonder Woman.  Surprised at how differently we communicate and it makes it easier to speak up sooner, before I have a list of problems.

Wonder Woman is working longer hours.  I’m spending more time out of the house with appointments and school and the gym.  We’ve both become homebodies when we don’t have other obligations.

Time together outside of the house has suffered.

Time together in general has suffered.

It bothered me and I spoke up.

And with Wonder Woman it was different.  I was heard.  I wasn’t attacked and told I was wrong.  Even more, she made time and we went out and did things together.  We had an amazing date day together.

I’m still kind of in shock about this because I’m not used to it being this way.

I’m not used to being able to speak up without retaliation, so I would wait until my emotions have hit critical mass and I explode.  Instead of pointing out one thing that bothers me, 20 would spill out and it would become a blame game.

I’m enjoying the difference that healthy communication makes.  We’re working hard to keep these skills in place from the beginning.

It helps to have such a gentle, loving partner in my life.

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