This is a Really Real Widow Post.
I’m kinda pissed.
And maybe it’s because I’m judging myself, or I feel judged where there is none.
But I’m pissed.
A friend shared a video about a widower who visits his wife’s grave every single day, taking three buses to get there. And the video ends with, to see true love, look no further than that couple.
I don’t visit my late wife’s ashes every day and they are in my house.
But I don’t love her any less because of that.
I don’t even wear the necklace with her ashes in it all that often anymore.
But that doesn’t mean what we had wasn’t real.
I don’t cry every day anymore.
But that doesn’t mean I didn’t love her enough.
I don’t have to pay widow penance.
I don’t have to wear a black veil.
I don’t have to lovingly tend to her urn for hours every day.
I don’t have to prove that it was true love.
My anger at that video is probably irrational. It’s a cute story, but it felt like it was saying true love needed to look like that after death.
True love can look like this too. Parker and I were pretty damn amazing considering the life we were dealt.
We didn’t have much, but we had love.
Nothing I do, or don’t do now, can ever take that.