This is a Really Real Mental Health Post.

Do you hear what I hear?

I mean, probably not because you’re where you are, and not where I am . . . but I hear the sound of calm and quiet and stillness.  Even my brain is quiet for the moment.

I was over emotional earlier this week and I think it was the beginning of some hypomania sneaking in, but it went away as quickly as it showed up. Now I’m just . . . calm. The feeling of stability I get where I try not to wonder when it will all go wrong again.

There are a few dishes in the sink but it’s not like I don’t feel like I can do them because of depression. I just don’t want to do them, because who the fuck really wants to do dishes. That’s the difference, when I’m depressed I get to the point that I want to clean up the mess around here and I just can’t do it, sometimes I want to have the desire to clean up the mess and can’t even find that.

But right now I’m not really fighting against that.

I just feel, okay.

And okay feels really good right now.