This is a Really Real Mental Health Post.

I got 3.5 hours of broken sleep last night. I kept dozing off in groups today.

I know why, I drank coffee too late. Sometimes I can, sometimes it fucks me all up.

Last night it fucked me all up.

So today I have no energy reserves. I came home and landed in bed where I napped restlessly for an hour. I tried to stay busy after that. But it’s 8pm and I can feel my mood slipping with my energy level.

My bed is calling my name, but it’s still too early.

After having a few days of relative peace this feeling of dread coming over me is such a heavy weight.

I’m walking through fog and it’s not just because I’m tired. It’s that blanket of depression.

My reserves got too low.

Dinner still needs to be figured out and cooking is out of the question. Even ordering food seems like more than I can handle.

The bed is calling my name, but it’s not just because I’m tired. It’s my safe space, my depression space, my blankets over my head space.

What happened to the peace I was feeling yesterday? What happened to euthymia?

What happened?

I just need a good night’s sleep and hopefully this will pass again.

Exhaustion is awfully close to depression, maybe I’m just confusing the two.

Maybe.

Hopefully.