This is a Really Real Life Post.
Being able to be myself is nothing short of amazing.
I mean, yeah, being wholeheartedly me means I deal with some really bad depression and suicidal ideation. It means I spend days inpatient and weeks in partial sometimes. It means there are some really shitty times.
But it also means I get to be open and out there and vulnerable. I get to wear my wild skirts and bright hair. I get to tell my story in a way that helps others (and helps me at the same time). I get to laugh and cry and let my dorky hang out.
I get to spend time with people who are just my kinda people, instead of struggling to fit in with the people who aren’t.
I’m learning how important all of this is.
I trip down the sidewalk, I fall face first down the stairs, I spill food down my shirt, all on a regular basis. But that’s just part of my charm, even the bruises, scars, and messed up shirts.
I am anxious and moody and sometimes my memory is all kinds of shit. But I keep moving forward no matter what life throws at me.
I’m falling in love with my authentic self.
My imperfect, beautiful, self.
I wish I could see things from this perspective all of the time. I wish depression didn’t creep in and pull me under. Make me nervous and afraid. Make me sad and apathetic. I wish life was all roses and bright smiles.
But even my mental illness is part of who I am. It’s part of what makes me, me. It’s part of what makes me beautiful.
Even though sometimes I’m a beautiful mess.
I’m learning to accept all of me.
And that’s pretty fucking amazing.
I can’t wait to see who I’m becoming.
The best is yet to come.
(Someone save this post and send it to me next time I’m falling apart, please.)